Flora's World: Love and other stuff Page 2

  Yiayia says that Nan is never careful and trusts too many men and that she should be a strong independent woman like her.......I think Nanny June loves men too much to give them up and be like yiayia who hasn't had a man in 30 years. I think Nan would rather die. "Eh, that’s engleses for jou" (English women) yiayia always says, I do say to her excuse me yiayia I am half English you know. Yiayia just shrugs her shoulders and says "eh"

  Yiayia has cooked Greek fried meatballs - kioftethes. She offers some to Grandpa Jeff who she knows full well doesn't like Greek food or anything foreign for that matter. He's proud of the fact he takes Nan to Benidorm on holiday every year because you can get "a good English meal" "none of that foreign muck" Yiayia says why do English people go on holiday to foreign countries if they don't want to try the food, which I fully agree with but Nanny June says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Yiayia winks at me as Grandpa Jeff politely takes a meatball and chews on it as if he is being asked to eat dog food. Somehow it gives yiayia some sort of satisfaction. I try not to burst out laughing as Grandpa swallows the meat looking like he is trying not to choke. Honestly I don't know what all the fuss is about Kioftethes are delicious!

  My cousin Nick pops round in his Escort RS Turbo to show dad his new leather seat covers, I think dad would secretly like an RS Turbo as well but he dropped it into conversation once and mum said not to be so stupid he's too old for a car like that and that there was nothing wrong with our Ford Cortina. Secretly I think she would love a new car but I know we can't afford one.

  Monique is sitting with me, mum and yiayia in the kitchen whilst Nick and Dad are outside cooing over "Trixie" Nick’s car, yes the big saddo, he gives his cars names and this one is Trixie. The last one was called Tracey! Tracey was a white XR2, she was a bit battered but when he upgraded he said the car needed a more upmarket name so he came up with Trixie. I don’t know how he thinks Trixie is an upmarket name Katie and I think it sounds like the name of an old Prozi you'd find down kings cross but we haven't told him that. When he christened the car and I mean literally smashed a bottle of Champagne (mind you it was probably a bottle of Lambrusco Bianco) over the bonnet and declared her name was Trixie, we all just looked at each other trying not to laugh. Of course yiayia piped up "But who is dis Drixi?" looking completely puzzled.

  'I love your hair colour Monique' says mum

  'It's called Fiery Sunset' says Monique "I'll book you in at the salon if you like and do yours for you" she says

  "Sophia mou" says yiayia "I don think sunset fires is the colour for jou darli"

  "And why not?" says mum

  yiayia does the usual "eh" and turns towards the kettle. I can see in mums face she is going to have that fiery sunset whether yiayia likes it or not!

  Chapter Two

  The start of something new

  Monday 7th January

  Moustache gone check

  Red skin gone check

  New lipstick on check

  And I am ready to rock and roll! On my way out the door and yiayia says "lipstick eh" and does this little nod like she knows what I’m up to. I’m actually not up to anything……well not really….okay maybe I am thinking with this lipstick on Bradley might notice me……..

  I’m sitting on the back of the bus with Meena and Trisha giggling over the problem page in Mizz when Bradley gets on, my heart starts racing and I can feel my face starting to burn, I can see it in my head turning that tomato colour it went after the waxing fiasco.........I take a deep breath and smile as he walks to the back of the bus, he is coming towards me, Meena gives me a nudge prodding me in my thigh, and I am thinking, I know, I know, he is smiling at me he is coming towards me, and then he ducks into the seat in front, he wasn't smiling at me at all, he was smiling at his mate John who I failed to notice was sitting right in front of us, oh my god shame, how embarrassing, I hope he didn't notice me grinning at him like an idiot, I actually want to disappear. Meena and Trisha just give me a shrug and I bury my face in my hands. Oh well Flora, just pretend it didn't happen, sometimes embarrassing things happen......its okay, he probably didn't even notice.

  We get off the bus and I hang back, I want to stay well away from Bradley today, that was just too shaming.

  "I think you're going a bit overboard Flora" says Meena "Me too" Trisha agrees

  "You smiled at him so what, how is he ever going to know that you like him if you don't smile at him? It's not as if you've never spoken to him before or smiled at him is it? You need to stop acting weird because then it's really obvious’ Trisha states matter of factly, ok I guess she is kind of right but I just don't want him to think I'm desperado do I?

  Kim Chambers is sooooo annoying walking down the corridors flicking her hair all over the place and sticking her rolled up sock ball titties out for all the boys.....argghhhhh I cannot stand that girl. I wish she would get a really bad haircut and disappear.

  Meena and Trisha want to go to the fish and chip shop after school so we go and Uncle Costi gives us free chips. "You working this Friday Flora?" Uncle Costi asks, "Yep If you need me" I say whilst stuffing down my chips. Here take a battered sausage and chips home for yiayia, her favourite he says.

  I hand the chips over to yiayia when I get in, "Ahhh Costi, he's a good boy" she says, "butter sausage, my favourite" its battered sausage I said, yes she says that's what I said....butter sausage....I leave her to her chips and "butter" sausage. I need to speak to Katie about Bradley, she knows all about boys, she is an expert, and she’ll be able to give me some tips.

  ‘Okay’ she says ‘first thing you need a makeover to make him really notice you. Your eyebrows need plucking...’

  "Oh god no" I say not after the moustache drama, "I am not removing anymore hair, no way!"

  Well I'm sorry but your eyebrows are far too bushy, they need sorting out. You've fixed your moustache so that's fine, your hair could do with something....how about a perm, we could ask Monique.....

  "Oh I don't know about that.....do you think I would suit curly hair?

  "Of course" she says, corkscrew curls are all the rage now, I catch sight of the Mizz magazine in my bag and pull it out, the girl on the front cover has beautiful curly corkscrew hair, tumbling down her shoulders, she looks really happy and fun, and like she has a boyfriend…......hmmmmmm I say okay I'll think about it.

  ‘Good’ she says "that's settled then, and if you let me pluck your eyebrows you'll look perfect but.....’

  ‘But what?"

  ‘Welllllllllll’ she says ‘you need to be more elegant, walk more gracefully, now look at that Kim Chambers....’

  "Argghhh I hate Kim Chambers" I shout "don't tell me to act like Kim flipping Chambers, I couldn’t think of anything worse!’

  ‘All I'm saying’ says Katie ‘is you could take a leaf out of her book, she knows how to swing her hair about and how to walk and stick her bum out. You on the other hand have about as much grace as a Gorilla, your arms even swing when you walk'

  "What?! Just shut the hell up will you, I do not walk like a Gorilla"

  "I'm afraid you do Flora, you really do, try practicing walking with a bit more finesse and looking a bit more elegant and you just might manage to get Bradley to notice you in that way. Now I've got to go, Danny said he would be calling at 6pm so I can't have him getting the engaged tone can I. See you later" and with that she put down the phone.

  The grace of a gorilla, what a cheeky cow.

  So there I am in the mirror, practicing flicking my hair and sticking my bum out, that is so not a good look for me, not with my big butt. Maybe she's right about my hair though, it is a bit boring, just sits on my shoulders, not curly not straight, dark, dark brown just like mums. I wish I had blonde hair like dad, it's so not fair. I have his green eyes though and mums dark long curly lashes. I study my face in the mirror, hmmm not exactly pretty, but not exactly ugly, somewhere in between I guess, maybe my nose is a bit big though. Maybe the perm will make my nose look smaller?

  Sitt
ing round the table for dinner I say "Who thinks I would suit curly hair?" Dad just grunts, yiayia shrugs and mum says "ohhh were you thinking about a perm? These corkscrew perms are all the fashion now, Lizzie at work (mum works at the Doctors surgery as a receptionist) has just had one it’s really nothing like those afro perms we used to have in the 80's. "Yeah, Katie thinks I should get one, she said it would really suit me"

  "You know what" says mum, "I'll book us in with Monique on Saturday, you can get your perm and I'll get my fiery sunset!

  "Sophia mou" yiayia says "I don think the red colour is good for jou darli" she says with that disapproving look.

  "I'll ring Monique in the morning" mum says, slamming the dirty plates into the sink

  Wednesday 9th January

  Bollocks it’s PE and I'm on my period, I wonder if I can forge a note..... I really cannot be arsed with PE, and having a big fat sanitary towel poking through my shorts. Yiayia says we shouldn't use tampons as it will take away our virginity. She found one in Katie's bag and went berserk, crying that Katie was no longer a virgin and nobody would have her - well actually Katie isn't a virgin but of course yiayia doesn't know that. There was this big hooha about tampons, and yiayia stamping her foot and making us promise we would wouldn't use them and let a piece of cotton wool take our virginity!!!!! So I promised and now I am scared in case yiayia goes through my stuff and finds one and has a heart attack and kicks the bucket so just for the minute I'm just sticking with sanny pads. I told Nanny June about the big fuss and she said that Yiayia needs to get her head out of the 1950's village in Cyprus and get with the modern world and if I want to use a tampon I should use one, but I would feel bad now that I've promised and wouldn't want to be the one to cause yiayia to have a stroke, so manky sanitary towels it is for the time being.

  I told Meena and Trisha at break that mum has booked us in for our new hair do's on Saturday and they are going to come along to the salon to see me get my new perm. I am really excited but also a bit scared.......what if it goes wrong....Heather Bryant in my English class has a really, really bad perm, she looks like Vera Duckworth from Coronation street except her hair is ginger, in fact she sort of looks a bit like Ronald McDonald.....oh god, please don't let my hair end up like Ronald McDonald!!!!

  Trisha told us that her dad and his girlfriend are having a baby, her mum and dad got divorced three years ago, her mum got really sad and turned into a bit of a hermit, she wouldn’t go out, wouldn’t see anyone, got signed off work for ages too and Trisha was worried her mum was drinking too much, she kept finding empty wine bottles in the bin. Now she’s worried this new baby will tip her over the edge. Her mum is so nice, her dad was such a bastard, had an affair with this young bint at work whilst Trisha's mum was nursing her own mum who had cancer. Trisha's Nan sadly passed away and while all this was going on the dad was having an affair with this 19 year old Trollope from work. It was a terrible time and Trisha doesn't see that much of her dad now, and well now with all this baby business she will see him even less. Poor Trisha. We need to find a nice man for her mum. I say this to her and she says it would be a miracle if we could get her to go on a date. Apparently she's had loads of offers but isn't interested.

  Meena pipes up that her Uncle has come over from India and is looking for a wife,

  "No" Trisha and I both say at the same time...

  "Okay okay, it was just a thought" says Meena

  "Does he even speak English?" I ask her

  She starts laughing and says not really but makes a wicked curry. Then we all start laughing just as Bradley walks past with John in tow,

  "Alright?" he says and nods his head, I look around, is he speaking to me??? I think he is, there is nobody else here

  'Alright Bradley' says Trisha, me and Meena just smile at him, he is looking right at me like the others don't exist.

  I go to bed dreaming of Bradley saying the words "Alright" and looking right at me with his big blue eyes, my dream is on replay all night "Alright" "Alright" "Alright"

  Friday 11th January

  Katie and I are in the chippy working our shift. It’s busy on Friday nights so I usually work every Friday evening and Uncle Costi gives me a tenner for my wages. It's always so busy there is always a big queue going out of the shop door and round the corner. Uncle Costi's fish and chips really are the best in town, he's won so many awards, Best local chippy, best chippy in London, best chippy voted by the public etc....he has all his awards on a shelf proudly displayed behind the counter. I'm just wiping my greasy hands on my white overalls when I look up to see Bradley at the front of the queue,

  "Oh, Hi Flora" he says

  Oh my god oh my god oh my god Bradley is standing right here, in front of me and the way he said my name……….. My heart is fluttering and doing backward somersaults…..

  "2 cod and chips please and a steak and kidney pie and chips as well" he says

  "Sure coming right up" I say trying to keep cool, calm and collected which is easier said than done when I am fully aware I am wearing greasy white chip shop overalls and a white hat, arggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe he has seen me looking like this. I hand over his order and he hands me the money, his hand touched my hand!!!!! I get the change out of the till and make sure I press it right into his palm. "Thanks" he says

  He really does have the most gorgeous smile

  "See you at school"

  "Yeh, bye, see you" I say and he leaves the shop.

  Katie turns to me and is like "Ohhhhhhh!!!! See you at school!!!" and she does a big over exaggerated wink. I push her and say

  'But Katie, he's seen me looking like a prized dork, in this horrible outfit, my bum looks ginormous’

  "Ah who cares" she says, I really think he likes you it doesn't matter what your wearing and anyway he can't see your big bum from behind the counter' she says laughing

  'What makes you think he likes me?' I ask her

  'Well for one thing' she says 'He is always in here on a Friday without fail, which means he’s already seen you in sexy white outfit and he still likes you, so stop worrying!’

  Doesn't everyone get fish and chips on a Friday? I’m certain he doesn’t come in here just for me, he genuinely wants his chips, surely?

  The shop starts to quieten down by 8.30pm and as there is only half an hour to go Uncle Costi lets us go early, it's only a short walk home but Katie uses this opportunity to snatch an hour with Danny so she calls him from the call box round the corner and he comes to pick us up, they drop me home and go off. I like Danny, he used to have a bit of a reputation and Katie says she has a thing for bad boys and can't help it. I don't think he is as 'bad' as what he would like people to think, in fact he seems quite soppy over Katie to me.

  I let myself in, yiayia is standing in the hallway,

  "Who gave jou a lift hom?" she asks ‘oh just a friend of Katie's’ I reply ‘mmmmm’ she says with a little smirk. I think yiayia knows full well what goes on with Katie and what she gets up to behind her dads back but she doesn't say anything. I know she regrets letting Bapou Tony take Auntie Eleni to Cyprus to get her a good Greek husband especially as my mum was allowed to marry dad. But at the time she felt she had no choice. Auntie Eleni loves Uncle Costi but I don't think she really, really loves him like my mum and dad love each other, I think yiayia knows this too and she also knows that Uncle Costi is very traditional and very Greek and who knows what would happen if Katie ever wanted to marry a man that wasn't a Greek Cypriot.

  Saturday 12th January

  Time for the new look Flora!!!! Mum and I are off to Monique's salon for our new hair do's. The Salon is called Cool Cutz with a Z. Quite a snazzy name and its really trendy inside or Drendy as yiayia would say, "Yes darli, iz very drendy" I never forget the time we drove down to Fonthill road in North London to get outfits for my mum's cousin Maria's wedding, the reception was held in the Cafe Royal in Piccadilly so mum decided we needed to go to Fonthill to get some fancy dresses. The first shop we went i
nto was called "Drendy Girl" me and mum were in hysterics, yiayia didn’t understand what we were laughing about, no point in trying to explain mum said, she's like the Greeks that own this shop, she doesn't get it!

  The inside of Cool Cutz is all black and purple and shiny silver, really modern, all the blokes that work here look like George Michael and Simon Le Bon and the girls are all skinny and pretty and wear tight leggings and loads of bangles on their arms.

  Mums having her colour put on by one of the George Michael looking blokes called Marc with a C and Monique is doing my perm.

  Mum and I get served tea and biscuits and there's plenty of magazines to read. Marie Claire and Cosmo, a bit more sophisticated than my usual Mizz and Just 17! I'm enjoying this, this is great!

  Mum is the first to finish, the colour is beautiful and just like Monique's, although I might have to agree with yiayia on this one, I'm not actually sure it suits mums complexion, I don't say anything though, I just say wow mum the colour is gorgeous!!!! It's like a deep red colour which looks amazing on Monique and really makes her blue eyes stand out, but with mums olive skin it makes her look a bit green. She seems pleased with it though, and Marc with a C is fussing around her and telling her she looks beautiful and flirting with her, she's loving every minute of it.

  Trisha and Meena walk into the salon just as Monique is unravelling the rollers to unleash my perm. All looking good so far and Trisha and Meena are doing a lot of ooohing and ahhing so I take it that they like it...........Looking at myself in the mirror though I'm not sure, it looks very, very curly, a lot curlier than what I expected, don't worry says Monique, it will drop out a bit over the next couple of weeks or so and it will be perfect. You mustn't wash it for a week though to let the perm set and then it will look amazing I promise. "Oh it’s lovely Flora" mum says "I love it"