Flora's World: Love and other stuff

  Flora's World

  (Love and other Stuff)

  By Andrea Pellegrini

  Thank you to everyone who believed in me and encouraged me to write this book! You know who you are x

  ‘The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams’

  Eleanor Roosevelt

  Greek to English Translations

  Greek

  English

  Yiayia

  Grandmother

  Bapou

  Grandfather

  Engleso

  English man

  Englesa

  English woman

  Xenous

  Foreigners

  Koukla

  Pretty girl / doll

  Mou

  Mine

  Kioftethes

  Greek fried meatballs

  Dolmades

  Stuffed vine leaves

  Afgolemoni soup

  Rice and lemon soup

  Pastichio

  Greek macaroni cheese dish

  Rezili

  Laughing stock

  Boudanez

  Prostitutes

  Loukanika

  Spicy Greek sausage

  LGR

  London Greek radio

  Kori Girls

  Greek equivalent to stereotypical Essex girls (bad hair, bad clothes, always looking for a husband)

  Kalamathiano

  Traditional Greek dance

  Chapters

  Chapter One – Introducing Flora

  Chapter Two – The start of something new

  Chapter Three – Love is……….

  Chapter Four – Revelations

  Chapter Five – A meeting of sorts

  Chapter Six – Secrets and Lies

  Chapter Seven – Birthdays

  Chapter Eight – Sounds like a plan

  Chapter Nine – A Scottish Prince

  Chapter Ten – Betrayed

  Chapter Eleven – A sad state of affairs

  Chapter Twelve – Fortunes and Misfortunes

  Chapter Thirteen – A family affair

  Chapter Fourteen – Further Revelations

  Chapter Fifteen – A change of heart

  Chapter Sixteen – Another coffee cup

  Chapter Seventeen – Ultimatums

  Chapter Eighteen - A distracting offer

  Chapter Nineteen – It’s not always what you think

  Chapter Twenty - A twist in the tale

  Chapter Twenty one – Another disaster

  Chapter Twenty two – I’m not pleased or am I?

  Chapter Twenty three – Slowly slowly

  Chapter Twenty four – The Oxo cube

  Chapter Twenty five – Happy Daze

  Chapter Twenty six – The disappearance

  Chapter Twenty seven – A heart to heart

  Chapter Twenty eight – Wedding fever

  Chapter Twenty nine – Bradders

  Chapter Thirty – Rings and Kingpins

  Chapter Thirty one – Love is in the air

  Chapter Thirty two - The visitor

  Chapter Thirty three - Flora’s World

  Chapter One

  Introducing Flora

  Saturday 5th January 1991

  2pm

  New Year’s resolutions never work, although I think what I have in mind is more of a plan, a goal for the year, the things I think are missing from my boring life that I would like to change, I need to aim for bigger and better things, like my dad always says: ‘Aim for the stars Flo, aim for the stars’ I think I should take his advice, so here goes, my plan of action for this year:

  A) Get a boyfriend……..sort of trying to work on that…..not that it’s the be all and end all of a teen girl’s life of course but …..

  B) Have a proper snog, kissing Ben Williams behind the bike sheds in the 3rd years doesn't really count……..I mean no really, it was a bit of a slobbering mess, on his part of course not mine….yuck, enough of that……

  And the most important thing:

  C) Do something about my big bum, now with my Greek Cypriot heritage this could prove to a bit difficult……….obviously it would help if I ate a few less chips, but very hard to resist when you have a part time job in a fish and chip shop…..

  1992 marks 16 years on planet earth which means I will be legally old enough to have S.E.X! Not that I am going to jump onto the first boy that comes along just to get rid of my virginity of course like some people I could mention ahem......... No, no my virginity is a special thing, not to be thrown away on any old boy, so he has to be pretty amazing for the S word to happen and anyway I'm not even anywhere near getting that far with anyone. Not even close to kissing the boy I fancy never mind anything else. Bradley Perkins, my dream boyfriend, I can't even begin to describe how gorgeous this boy is, every morning he gets on the bus and my heart literally drops into my socks, he is so utterly dreamy. I've fancied him forever, along with the rest of the girls in my year especially Kim Chambers, she is always all over him, flicking her long blonde hair in his face and sticking out those big boobs of hers, I'm sure she stuffs socks in her bra because they literally ballooned overnight. She is pretty though I will have to admit to that (argghh) but so mean, I can’t believe I was best friends with her when I was little, you’d never know now though she acts like she doesn't even know me at all the snooty mare.

  If I compare myself to Kim I would have to admit she is model standards, skinny, long blonde hair, perfect features…kind of Claudia Schiffer looking, and me? Well I am basically a hairy Greek beast, Mum says I should count my lucky stars I am only half Greek as she was born with a moustache! I guess I have no chance with Bradley if I am up against her……………….a girl can dream though eh?

  Speaking of moustaches, I really need to do something about mine, mum says she doesn’t know what I’m going on about and she can’t see a thing, I got her to inspect it but she didn’t even have her glasses on. I can see this black shadow of fluff starting to appear and if a miracle were to happen and I could have any sort of chance with Bradley I can't see him wanting to smooch with a girl who has a caterpillar growing on her lip. Action must be taken. A trip to the chemist is what’s needed to see what there is in the way of de-fuzzation. I've got some money from my shift in the Chippy last Friday – see this is why I can’t seem to shrink my behind, free chips on tap! My Auntie Eleni and Uncle Costi - my mum's sister and her husband own the local Fish and Chip Shop. It's called Nico's Fish and Chip Bar. Nico is my Greek Bapou's name, Bapou means grandfather. He died when my mum was seven years old, only six years after arriving in London with his wife my Yiayia (grandmother) Flora - but they call Florou (Greek's like to put an 'ou' on the end of everything for some reason) who I am named after and his two daughters Sophia and Eleni. After bapou died yiayia was left on her own to bring up the kids by herself and apparently wore black for about twenty years although she doesn't wear black anymore but she never re-married. It's that side of the family I have to thank for this moustache! My dad Jim is fair haired "O englesos" I’ve heard yiayia sometimes call him - the English man. I don't think yiayia was that happy about my mum marrying an 'engleso' but as Auntie Eleni had to be shipped off to the village in Cyprus to be found a husband after her apparent 'misbehaviour' it was nothing in comparison. Word has it that Auntie Eleni was running round with an Indian boyfriend, or Jamaican or Chinese.....it changes depending on who is telling the story but anyway it wasn't a good Greek boy so wasn't deemed acceptable. Word got back to Bapou Tony - bapou Nico's brother who said he would have to put his foot down at his niece's behaviour and in the good name and honour of his brother who would be spinning in his grave at the
antics of his beloved eldest daughter (by all accounts it seems to me she only had a boyfriend, but these Greek Cypriots like to over dramatize) he would have to accompany her to their village in Cyprus to find her a good husband and pray to god nobody would find out she had been running around with xenous (foreigners) and that someone would still want to marry her! Well yiayia Florou felt she had no choice as not having a husband and Bapou Tony being the closest thing the girls had to a father and her depending on him and his wife greatly she let him take her. Two months later Auntie Eleni came back engaged to be married to Uncle Costi who is a kind man but just not who I would imagine as a first choice for my vivacious fun loving Auntie, they are like chalk and cheese, Uncle Costi is quiet and serious, although he does make a mean fish and chip dinner and has won awards for the best chippy in London.

  Hmmm now after another inspection of this upper lip I really do need to get down to the chemist to find something to get rid of this moustache, it seems to be getting darker by the minute.

  3.30pm

  Gosh there are so many products on the shelves I have no clue what to go for: bleach, hair removal crème, razors, wax, it’s all very confusing........luckily Mrs Shah the owner of the chemist is on hand to offer her expert advice of course....

  "Hello Flora dear, you looking for something?" she says in her thick Indian accent

  "Erm yes Mrs Shah.....I am....something to errr, remove...... hair?" I say

  "Oh you need to get rid of moustache yes?" she says smiling. For goodness sake is it that bad? I must look horrendous. Why didn't my mother tell me it was that bad instead of saying it hardly showed?

  "Yes, my……. erm moustache.....what would you recommend?"

  She hands a me a box of Louis Marcel strip wax and tells me it's very easy to use and to follow the instructions precisely. I buy a new Rimmel lipstick, a coral one I've had my eye on for ages to go with my new fuzz free upper lip. I'm excited, I can't wait to get rid of this monstrosity on my face.

  6.30pm

  Oh dear, something has gone a bit wrong, my face is very red, the black fuzz is gone but in its place a big red sore. I don't know what could have happened..... Mrs Shah was right, it was very easy, it did hurt a bit but then the skin went all red and angry looking......damn, I just fished the instruction leaflet out of the bin, I was meant to put talcum powder on the skin first to protect it! I need to phone my cousin Katie, she will know what to do, she is 18 and studying for her A ‘levels, she's really smart, and is doing Maths, Chemistry and Business! Yiayia says bapou Nico would have been so proud, nobody from the village has ever got an A level! Katie says she doesn't want to end up like her mum married to a Greek villager and running the chip shop and as soon as she can she is out of here. She is always telling me how lucky I am to have an English dad, she says it's okay for her brother Nick as he is boy (apparently the Greek way of thinking is that it's fine for boys to do what they want which hardly seems fair) and okay for me as I have and English dad but she is the one stuck having to sneak about and go behind her dads back, Auntie Eleni lets her do what she wants as long as Uncle Costi doesn't find out which isn't that hard as he is working in the chippy all day and night.

  I go into mum and dad's room and unplug the phone and take it into my room, I'm not allowed a permanent phone but I have a socket so I'm allowed to take it into my room to make calls, although it does get annoying when dad thinks It's funny to pick up the downstairs extension and tell me to hurry up when I am in the middle of an important conversation!

  Katie picks up on the third ring:

  "Can you come round something terrible has happened, and I don’t know what to do" I say

  "What is it, is everyone ok?" she says sounding a bit panicky,

  "I've waxed my moustache and ripped all the skin off, my upper lip is the colour of a tomato I don't know what to do" I start crying and then instead of her giving me some reassurance and maybe a bit of sympathy (although being sympathetic to other people’s problems isn’t really Katie’s strong point) she lets out a thunderous laugh, which vibrates against my ear, and she keeps on laughing until she is actually fighting for breath. She’s making these noises that sound like a seal giving birth, I can just imagine her rolling around with tears streaming down her face.

  She can be such a cow.

  "How can you laugh at me in my time of need" I cry" I don't know what to do"

  ‘You’re such an idiot’ she says ‘why didn't you tell me you wanted to wax your tache I would have done it for you, did you forget the talc or something?’

  Trust her to be the expert on moustache waxing.

  "How did you know?" I ask her

  "Cos I did it once myself"

  According to Katie the redness would die down in a couple of days and I should slather it in Sudocreme. I found some in the bathroom cabinet, goodness knows how long it's been in there but I will have to give it a go. She said she couldn't come over as she has a date with Danny her boyfriend and needs to be back before 11pm when her parents get back from the Chippy. They open until 9.30pm on Saturdays and by the time they clean up and cash up its just gone 11pm. I feel sorry for Katie having to have a secret boyfriend as she isn't allowed to date. My cousin Nick - Katie's brother is 23 and does what he likes, always has done, he drives about in his black escort RS Turbo with yellow trim, dating whoever and doing whatever he likes. His current girlfriend is actually really nice and very pretty, she's a hairdresser called Monique and works in the salon up the road. Uncle Costi and Auntie Eleni really like her. His last long term girlfriend Jo his sweetheart from school broke his heart, nobody thought he would ever get over her but Monique is lovely and they seem to be really happy. It's really not fair though that Katie gets treated differently to Nick and is expected to marry a Greek Cypriot boy although I don't know where they will find her one round here as in this part of West London there aren't many Greeks. Mum says thank god when they came over from Cyprus they didn't end up in Wood Greek (green) as she calls it, in North London where all Greeks have seemed to congregated, getting in your business and everyone knowing everything about you and what you're up to. I hope Uncle Costi doesn't think he is going to ship Katie off to the village to find her a husband. No wonder she wants to go to Uni and get as far away from here as possible.

  I go downstairs with the Sudocreme all over my face hoping nobody will notice. I am going to pretend it’s a face mask. Yiayia is staying with us at the moment as she is having her bathroom re- done, she only lives a five minute walk round the corner so could easily just come round for a shower but I think she's been feeling a bit lonely lately so has used it as an excuse to stay over. Dad doesn't mind her being here at all in fact he loves all her Greek cooking but her and mum do clash a bit and quite often there are raised voices between them. Anyway of course beady eyed yiayia is the first person to notice the state of my face "Flora what the hell jou dun to jor face?" she says in her thick Greek accent. For all her years in London yiayias accent is still very strong.

  "Oh I've just got this Sudocreme on cos Katie says it's good for your skin" I say wincing as I lie to the one woman who knows a lie when she hears one.

  Hmmmmmmmm yiayia says grabbing hold of my face and squeezing my cheeks, "Sophia, come see what jor daughta has dun to herr face" she calls to mum who was in the kitchen.

  Mum comes into the sitting room, takes one look at me and starts laughing

  ‘You waxed your moustache didn't you?" she says "oh dear what a mess, you’ve made of it’

  "Well mum, if you'd have told me how bad it looked instead of saying it hardly showed I wouldn't be in this mess now would I" I say stomping back up the stairs.

  I'm going to bed and pray that when I wake up this angry redness will have disappeared or is that asking for too much of a miracle? I just want this day to end.

  Sunday 6th January

  10.30am

  I've been awake in bed for about an hour but have been working up the nerve to get up and go and have a look at my
self. After inspecting my face in the mirror I can see that the Sudocreme seems to have worked a bit, it’s only slightly red now, no way near as bad as it was last night. I mean not 100% satisfactory on all accounts but a hell of a lot better.

  "Ahh my Koukla (doll - basically means pretty) jor face look so much betta darling mou" yiayia says. Well if there's one thing about yiayia she doesn’t beat about the bush and will always tell you the truth so if she says I look better then I must do. Phew!

  Nanny June and Grandpa Jeff are coming to visit today. Nanny June is dads mum and Grandpa Jeff is my step-grandad. Nan has had four husbands. Her first Eric, my Auntie Anne's dad died when she was a baby and then she married my granddad Peter and shortly after that my dad was born, they got divorced when dad was 10 years old and Grandad Peter emigrated to Australia, I think he is in the outback now somewhere living like Crocodile Dundee, we hear from him every now and then……the odd Christmas and birthday, but I’ve never met him. The next husband Vince Pendleton turned out to be a criminal, he tried to do Nan and a lot of other people out of a lot of money and ended up going to prison for ten years, he was a proper crook as my dad calls him, the name Vince is never spoken in our family, he is known as "The Crook" And then came Grandpa Jeff. He is actually really nice and adores Nan. Yiayia says Nanny June thinks she is Elizabeth Taylor with all these husbands. She's not too keen on Grandpa Jeff, that might have something to do with him not liking her food. Yiayia is very protective over her cooking! The funny thing is Nanny June is actually very glamorous and does look a bit like Elizabeth Taylor, she even met her on a film set many years ago, she used to be a Makeup artist in the 60's and 70's and worked on a lot of the James Bond movies. She said Sean Connery took her out on a date once, I don't know if that's true – yiayia thinks she made it up, but she did take dad to pinewood studios when he was little to meet his idol and there is a big framed black and white signed photo of them both which takes pride of place on the side board in our living room.